She looks beautiful. How can it be that she is so sick? She sure hides it. Her attitude is incredibly good. She is so brave.
We should have been on the balcony of the Mauna Kea Beach Hotel, this morning, but for her illness. I brought in blintzes and matzoh brie for breakfast, only to learn of her temperature and her nothing by mouth status (n.p.o.) I gave away our breakfasts, but when her colon surgeon came by, and said she could eat, I snatched it back. She ate one blintz, and 2 forkfuls of matzoh. Not enough calories. She likes Ensure more than Nepro. I tasted the Nepro. I think one could get tired of it very, very fast.
I feel so damn helpless. I can do things like advise on her electrolytes, and my judgment is probably the best around in this area, and I can advise a quick PICT line because I know they can't get enough potassium into her orally and peripherally without risking an ileus (a paralyzxed bowel that won't contract.) I don't have the surgical or GI background to really help her greatest needs. They... her doctors... are doing their best, and Dr. Ennis (G.I.) really put it into perspective, yesterday, when he reminded us that her progress needs to be compared to how she was doing a week before, not a day before. On that scale, her improvement is slow, but it is improvement.
She has been sitting up in a chair, and she took some steps around the room, yesterday. Today, with a temp and cramping pain, and Dilaudid, I don't expect progress. They will be putting a PICT line into her tomorrow so she can get IV fluids, potassium and magnesium. Hopefully she can get calories from Ensure and Ensure Plus, and whatever she wants.
Yesterday, she had a craving for a hamburger, so I got the McConald's Double Cheeseburger, and she ate about 15-20% at most of one, and, maybe 3 french fries. When we tried to stand her up, her knees wouldn't support her, so she went back to bed.
I'm making my dialysis rounds, and this is good therapy for me, because I don't focus on Lin. And, standing helpless by the bedside while she has cramping pain, is very hard. Aside from fluid and electrolytes, where my input really adds something despite some pretty good nephrologists, in the room, I'm her husband, not her doctor.
I would be shocked if she comes home this week. It looks to me as though she needs daily chemistries until she comes off IV's. I dread the next level of care, and would love to have her at home, with an aide to handle her personal needs. I can't believe how mentally strong she has remained in the face of all of these health problems.